How to Stop Playing Matching Games

Kids can be very dramatic to say the least, especially tired kids at bedtime who want just “5 more minutes” of screentime. Not only have studies proven that screen time is bad for sleeping, but I know from experience that “5 more minutes” tend to be like microwave minutes - i.e. way longer than expected. 

But, our kids tend to mimic us, and we like our screen time before bedtime, so why are we surprised by them wanting the same?... But that’s not what this blog is about. 

This blog is really about us not mimicking our kids when their big feelings surface as screaming fits that drive us parents crazy. 

According to Vanessa Van Edwards in her book Captivate, emotions are contagious. That’s why a child who is screaming is often told to stop screaming by a screaming parent. They get upset, we get upset, they escalate their drama, we escalate our drama. 

How do we not match their dramatic fit? We give kids what they need. As a parent, it’s our responsibility to meet our kids in their drama with a calming presence. 

We aren’t called to be perfect, but we are called to respond the same way God does when we bring our drama to Him. He’s gentle, kind, and patient towards us. He’s not a screaming parent. He’s not caught off guard by our messiness, nor is He too busy to handle our needs correctly even though we may not be deserving of His gentleness. God created us in His own image, and as believers He has given us new hearts to live like Him. 

Your kids don’t deserve an appropriate calm response from you when they’re very emotional and upset, but they need a calm and collected response IN THE SAME WAY that you as a parent need that from God.