Parenting Your 3 Year Old

JUMP TO SECTION

The Phase when anything can be imagined, everything can be a game, and one curious preschooler wants to know, “why?”

IMAGINATION IS REALITY

Your three-year-old might suddenly become a self-proclaimed princess, pirate, or superhero. Your bedroom might turn out to be a train station, a castle, or both. But imagination may also turn scary. Fear may set in when, at any given moment, a monster can show up in the hallway, a snake can be under the bed, or a dragon can walk through the living room.

EVERYTHING CAN BE A GAME

You motivate your preschooler best when you appeal to their desire to play. Whatever the task, turn it into a game; make it fun. When you’re having fun, they’ll have fun with you. And there is simply nothing more entertaining that the spontaneous laughter of a three-year-old.

THEY HAVE A NEWFOUND CURIOSITY

Whether it’s showcased in unrolling the toilet paper, pulling apart an older kid’s LEGOs, or the constant repetition of “Why? Why? Why?”, your preschooler is eager to know how the world works. So when they ask you “Why?” For the second and third time, remember they’re just looking for more of the knowledge they know you must have.

Love to Give

“Am I okay?”

This is the one major question your three-year-old is asking. Life for a three-year-old can be confusing. It’s okay to throw a ball, but not a rock. You can hug your friend, but not squeeze his neck. Your three-year-old is learning the rules for life and encountering some necessary discipline.

Your preschooler needs to know you love them—even when they make bad choices. The best way to answer that question is by embracing their physical needs.

When you embrace their physical needs, you…

…communicate that they are safe.

…establish that the world can be trusted.

…demonstrate that they are worth loving.

WAYS TO LOVE

-Schedule your day. Write down all you do for your three-year-old on a typical day, and include how much time each task takes. Now take a minute to celebrate what a good parent you really are. It will be especially helpful to revisit this list on a bad day.

-Pay attention to what your three-year-old likes. What does your preschooler seem to enjoy the most right now?

-How are you taking time for yourself? It’s impossible to love anyone with the relentless effort a preschooler demands unless you are refueling each week. What are some ways you can take care of yourself so you are able to give your three-year-old the love they need?

-Who do you have around you supporting you this year? Family? Your Missional Community? Your DNA? Other friends?

Books to Read

Mooncake
By Frank Asch

Sam and Dave Dig a Hole
By Mac Barnett and Jon Klassen

Madeline
By Ludwig Bemelmans

Mr. Grumpy’s Outing
By John Burningham

Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel
By Virginia Lee Burton

Strega Nona (Series)
By Tomie dePaola

Bear Snores On
By Karma Wilson

Corduroy (Series)
By Don Freeman

Harold and the Purple Crayon
By Crockett Johnson

Pete the Cat (Series)
By Eric Litwin and James Dean

Martha Speaks
By Susan Meddaugh

The Little Engine That Could
By Watty Piper

Green Eggs and Ham
By Dr. Seuss

There’s a Wocket in My Pocket!
By Dr. Seuss

Press Here
By Herve Tullet

Knuffle Bunny
By Mo Willems

In My Heart: A Book of Feelings
By Jo Witek

What to Do With a Box
By Jane Yolen

Harry the Dirty Dog
by Gene Zion

The Pout-Pout Fish
by Deborah Diesen

Milestones to Achieve

Work your three-year-old can do:

Use the potty

Use a fork and spoon

Take trash to the trash can

Fill a pet’s food or water dish

Dress themselves (kind of)

Pick up toys

Put dirty clothes in the hamper

Carry dishes to the sink

Help carry groceries (the light ones)

Put groceries on the conveyor belt

Water plants (when you ask)

Fun to Have

Toys:

Play-Doh

Finger Paint

Crayons

Play kitchen

Alphabet letters

Duplo Legos

Wooden Puzzles

Trucks, trains, and dolls

Activities:

Dress up clothes

Push a swing

Throw or kick a ball

Blow bubbles

Do a silly dance

Play freeze games

Play “Mother May I?”

Play “Musical Chairs”

Play “Duck, Duck, Goose”

Sing “Itsy-Bitsy-Spider”

Sing “London Bridge”

Words to Speak

Good morning!, I love you, you’re okay, you did it!, I will be back, please, thank you, you can try it, be gentle, you’re welcome, good night, I’m sorry.

The best way to begin preparing your three-year-old for school is by improving their vocabulary. Here are a few ways you can help.

Talk to your preschooler—the more, the better.
When they talk, make eye contact.
Give your preschooler opportunities to make choices.
Read, sing, or make up rhymes.
Join your child in pretend play.

This year you will…

ESTABLISH BASIC NUTRITION

Maintain a good relationship with your pediatrician, and schedule a well visit at least once per year. You can also begin to build a foundation of healthy habits for your three-year-old with a few simple words.

Say things like…

Time to brush your teeth!

Here’s your milk.

Let’s go outside.

It’s okay if you don’t like your peas today, you might like them next time.

Did you know carrots grow underground?

Thank you for trying that.

Can you help me cook?

Let’s wash your hands.

INTRODUCE THEM TO THEIR BODY

There’s a good chance your preschooler is becoming more aware of their body and the bodies of others. Use this time to lay a foundation for future conversations by simply talking about bodies in a positive way.

Say things like…

Close the door when you go to the potty.

That’s your nose. Those are your eyes. That’s your vagina/penis.

I love watching you grow.

No, girls don’t have a penis.

Babies grow inside their mama until it’s time to be born.

ENJOY THE ADVANTAGES OF TECHNOLOGY

One advantage to technology is that you probably already have a resident expert who navigates a tablet faster than some adults. But since three-year-olds are drawn to a screen, it’s also time to have a few conversations about digital devices.

Say things like…

I’m texting Grandma to ask a question. (talk openly about technology as you use it.)

I put my phone away when we are eating so we can talk to each other.

It’s time for you to put the iPad away.

You need to ask before you use the computer.

Let me show you what a dolphin looks like.

INCITE WONDER

Your three-year-old has many questions. Some might be about creation, heaven, church, and the Bible… and some of their questions might already be hard to answer. Don’t panic. Just like other topics, answer faith questions as simply as possible. If they need to ask more, they will.

Say things like…

How did the Samaritan take care of his neighbor? (Talk about what your preschooler learns on Sunday.)

God made you. God loves you. Jesus wants to be your friend forever.

Are you scared? Let’s talk to God about it.

With God all things are possible. (Repeat simple Bible verses.)

Isn’t that wonderful? Let’s thank God for it.

Can you let your friend have a turn?